"It's strange how all the reasons why this," I say, mirroring his earlier gesture, "won't work are about what's wrong with me." Stranger still is how none of those things seemed to matter last week. And that one of what I would consider the most obvious reasons didn't even make the top three. He's either being polite or his sense of self-preservation is very high right now.

"Your beer tastes like a Bath and Body Works candle."

It's a childish jab, but I don't feel like being polite.